Updated! – 3 effective communication strategies that every couple should know
The fastest way to start a relationship is to talk.
Unfortunately, when the talking stops so can the love that took years to foster.
When loving partnerships turn sour, it often starts with communication. One – or both – partners slip into communication madness, and feelings go unheard and resentment builds.
Working on effective communication now can ease the madness before the relationship turns.
Actively Listen & SHOW Them They're Heard
We are a society of multitaskers, and while we're appreciative of the advancements technology has made, we don’t always take the time to be fully present.
With every checked notification or screen glance, we've pulled away from our partner. All too often, we feel unheard and under-appreciated.
We have a few ideas to help you stay connected with each other:
Ditch Distractions: One of the best ways to show love and give priority to your partner is to give them your complete and undivided attention. That means no technology (TV, phones, tablets, or computers), no chores, and no other distractions.
Don’t Interrupt, But Ask Questions: Even if you’ve heard it before, even if it’s the same complaint about work they always make, even if you’re tired, listen fully to what your partner is saying. When your partner is done speaking, ask thoughtful follow-up questions that show you were actively listening.
Use Body Language: Your body language can work wonders in showing you are actively listening to whatever your partner is saying. Make eye contact. Turn your body to face your partner so they know they have your full, undivided attention.
In today’s world, our time and attention are some of the greatest gifts we can give — and get — so give it freely to your partner and watch your relationship grow.
Check-In Regularly, Before They Check-Out Permanently
Remember, it's the little things that make a huge difference. You may think you know all the details of your partner’s life, or maybe you even feel a bit intrusive asking for information. But, checking in is actually a way of getting closer to each other.
Here are a few ways to keep in the habit of communication:
Ask How They Are Daily: A simple "How was your day?" will not only keep you in touch and in sync, but when paired with active listening, becomes the basis for complete communication transformation.
Have Regular Relationship Check-Ins: It's not just the every day stuff we need to discuss. You need to check in about the big stuff too. If there are any big changes — moving in, getting engaged, going on holiday — make sure you talk about them regularly. It gives you both an important platform to air concerns.
Talk Things Through Before They Happen: Touch base beforehand if you know something is coming up. This lets your partner know that your actions or feelings are not reflective of them, but of external factors.
Maybe you won’t learn anything new. You will communicate a genuine interest in the small details that make up your partner’s day. You’re letting them know that you care about them and are interested in what goes on in the moments you are not together.
Practice Gratitude
Appreciation improves communication. Relationships are able to grow by creating more positive experiences. When the focus shifts from what your partner doesn’t do to what your partner DOES well, love can begin to blossom while resentments begin to wilt.
Try these techniques to start showing some gratitude:
Give Thanks: Sometimes, the easiest way to acknowledge your partner is just to say it! Even if it’s an everyday task like doing the dishes, tell your partner how much it means to you that you can count on them to help out with those chores.
Give Them a Break: Give them a night off! Let them know you appreciate that they always take care of the dishes, but tonight it's on you. Giving them this short break shows how much you value their time and what they do to keep the household running.
Give a Compliment: If they look great that day, tell them. If they tell a funny joke, laugh! And let them know you think they’re hilarious. Whatever it is that makes them special, make sure to tell them.
The next time you feel your partner (or yourself!) begin to slip into communication madness, stop and remember some ways YOU can actively listen, show your gratitude, and check-in with your partner to foster better communication.