Avoid the Fall Into Communication Madness: Active Listening

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The fastest way to start a relationship is to talk. 

Unfortunately, when the talking stops so can the love that took years to foster.

When loving partnerships turn sour, it often starts with communication. One (or both) partners slip into communication madness and feelings go unheard and resentment builds. 

Take Abe and Ginny, for example. They met in college and married soon after they graduated. They were drawn to each other because of their similar sense of humor, and that developed into great love and respect for another. Lately, though, it seems as though that’s slipping through their fingers. 

Abe and Ginny are not communicating as well as they have over the years, and they are finding that even making time to have a real conversation is difficult with work, kids, and other responsibilities clawing for their attention. 

What we offered to them, and what offer to you now, is this:

Working on effective communication now can ease the madness before the relationship turns. 

Here are a couple of simple things you can do right now to begin to make a change. 

Actively Listen & Show Them They're Heard

We are a society of multitaskers. And while we're appreciative of the advancements technology has made, we don’t always take the time to be fully present. With every checked notification or screen glance, we've pulled away from our partner. All too often, we feel unheard and under-appreciated. So, how can we combat the pull of multitasking and actively listen to our partner? Here are a few ideas:

  • Ditch Distractions:

    One of the best ways to show love and give priority to a partner is to give them our complete and undivided attention. That means no technology (TV, phones, etc.), no chores, and no other distractions.

  • Don’t Interrupt And Ask Questions

    Even if you’ve heard it before. Even if it’s the same complaint about work they always make. Even if you’re tired. Listen fully to what your partner is saying. When your partner is done speaking, ask thoughtful follow-up questions that show you were actively listening.

  • Use Body Language

    Your body language can work wonders in showing you are actively listening to whatever is being said. Make eye contact, and turn your body to face your partner, so they know they have your full, undivided attention.

The fastest way to rebuild a relationship is to talk … and to listen.

In today’s world, our time and attention are some of the greatest gifts we can give — and get — so give it freely to your partner and watch your relationship grow.

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