Updated! – Take Your Relationship Temperature Often!
In relationships, there is plenty of room for couples to make bad decisions about how things are going on any particular day. For example, a normally outgoing person can easily be perceived as being upset when they seem overly engaged in something. After sharing negative feedback with each other, it’s easy to misperceive how it was received.
So how can you avoid this common couples trap, without making things worse?
A simple way to Avoid misperceptions
The easiest way to avoid miscommunications and blowups is:
Get in the habit of regularly checking in with each other.
This can be a simple, short, and no hassle routine. It’s like taking your temperature to find out if you’re sick.
Simply ask, “How are we doing?”
The answer should be short and accurate. Answers are like “We’re great,” “We’re doing good,” “We’re ok,” or “We’re not so good right now.”
This powerful tool, used properly can be used to interpret social clues between couples. Instead of making assumptions – often flawed assumptions – about how the other person is doing or about how they perceive something, just ask them.
Checking in removes the guesswork
Quickly taking the temperature of your relationship removes the dangerous guesswork of how your partner is doing or how your relationship is in its current state.
The key is open communication.
When asked how you’re doing, be comfortable enough and trusting enough to answer honestly. The answer should not always be “We’re fine!” No couple is “fine” all the time. Things will go wrong, and both of you need to recognize when that happens so you can make improvements.
When you check in with your partner, accept their answer, even if it’s not what you expected. Actually, it’s even more important to pay attention when the answer isn’t what you expected.
Remember, simply taking your ‘relationship temperature’ isn’t enough on its own. You need to act together, as a couple, on what you learn from each other – because you’re in this together!